What Is Bondage?

If you’re looking for a way to spice up your relationship mentally and physically, bondage is the perfect opportunity. It’s fun, kinky and lets you use your imagination in new and exciting ways. But what exactly is the bondage meaning and is bondage BDSM? In this article, we will discuss everything you need to know about how to bondage.

Bondage Meaning

Bondage is part of the BDSM subculture and is the act of consensually tying, binding or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic or somatosensory stimulation. The practice of bondage in a relationship is the expression of one’s uniqueness of their sexuality and usually involves a submissive and a dominant role.

Bondage can simply be using a pair of sex handcuffs whilst being pleasured or can go as far as being tied up with BDSM restraints. Using added BDSM accessories like nipple clamps, sex blindfolds and sex toys is a great way of experimenting with bondage and finding what works for you.

Is bondage BDSM?

BDSM stands for bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism. It’s a catch-all phrase for a range of concepts and practices centred upon a power exchange within the context of sexual intimacy.

My Partner Is into Bondage, What Do I Do?

If your partner is into bondage, simply ask them to explain what they’ve tried, what they haven’t, and why they liked it. Getting some context to their enjoyment can help you to understand why they’re into it, and it may even appeal to you too. Many sex and relationship experts recommend everyone be open-minded and try everything once or twice so that you can express your sexuality in a way that suits you.

However, whilst the recommendation is to try everything and be open-minded, you should also be prepared for your other half to not be into it. Mutual respect comes into all aspects of a relationship including bondage for beginners.

Benefits Of Bondage

There are many benefits of BDSM confirmed by experts. Benefits include:

Reduced stress levels

Some research has shown that engaging in BDSM practices can trigger biological effects similar to the zen you might experience during or after a fulfilling yoga session or the ‘runner’s high’ you feel after cardio. When carrying out bondage, you reduce how much cortisol (also known as the stress hormone) you produce which overall lowers your stress levels. That means, that not only can bondage make us feel better mentally, but it also can play a part in improving our physical health including lowering blood pressure.

Better communication skills

Exploring bondage with your partner can improve your sexual relationship and ultimately bring you closer together. Some experts suggest that experienced BDSM practitioners usually exhibit high levels of sex education and communication skills. People plan out scenes using many forms of safety precautions that involve a strong sense of assertiveness and negotiation as well as vulnerability. It’s important to know that sex plays and that it’s okay to be submissive or powerful in a consensual way. It’s also important to note that sex play roles aren’t equivalent to emotional relationship dynamics or relationship power roles outside of sex.

It deepens trust

In addition to strengthening communication skills across the board, those who practise BDSM with their long term partner can often experience a deeper sense of trust. When done consciously, practising bondage can be a very powerful experience for couples and can ultimately bring them closer together.

It all starts with a conversation about what interests you or your partner about bondage. From there, you can start to map out scenarios that fit within those parameters. It takes a great deal of trust to talk about these things as well as putting them into action.

Improves mental health

Much research has proved that people who enjoy taking part in bondage are more secure in their relationships and had an increased sense of well-being. The research measured traits such as attachment styles in relationships, well-being and how sensitive they were to rejection compared to those in a control group.

How To Bondage

If you're trying to find out how to bondage, the idea is always to start small and work your way up. But before taking part in all the action, there are some things you need to do to prepare.

Research

Research is a must if it’s your first time using rope or other restraint items. Get familiar with what positions you want to try and how to execute them properly. There are plenty of websites you can check out that are dedicated to explaining rope play. It will also show you how to tie, what to tie etc.

Communication

If you’re interested in finding out how to bondage, you must get consent from your partner or it should be at least an ongoing conversation. Consent, communication and trust are essential for a strong relationship, sexual or otherwise.

Safety

Aside from your research, there are also some classes and workshops you can attend to get some real hands-on experience. There are always risks involved with rope bondage including nerve damage. Therefore, those participating should be familiar with any safety risks and how to avoid them.

Establish Escape Plan

With safety being the number one priority, it doesn’t hurt to create some sort of escape plan in the event of an emergency. It’s a good idea to keep the ties around the wrists and ankles loose until you get comfortable. And you should also have a pair of safety scissors to hand just in case.

Aftercare

Aftercare is always needed after a scene to ensure both participants are okay mentally and physically. The aftercare should be negotiated before you start. For scenes that can be physically depleting, it’s recommended you ensure there is a blanket, snacks and a bottle of water. After a few days, you should also check in to see if any other thoughts or feelings have come up. Aftercare is an opportunity to deepen your relationship, build trust and hold space for any triggers and healing.