Any person with a penis knows the frustration of not lasting as long as you want to in bed. It can be hard for both you and your partner and can be embarrassing if you’re in a new relationship. However, men should know that while it is frustrating, premature ejaculation is incredibly common and will affect almost every man at some point in his life. Whilst you are most likely to be affected in your twenties and thirties, 1 out of every 3 men of all ages say they’ve experienced premature ejaculation. In this article, we will discuss premature ejaculation and answer the question: how do you last longer in bed?
What’s The Average Time For Ejaculation?
It’s more common than you might think for men to not last long during intercourse. A 2005 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that out of 500 couples, the measure of time between vaginal penetration and male ejaculation over four weeks of sex sessions was on average, 5.4 minutes. Another look in 2014 found that almost half the men who were studied lasted less than 2 minutes.
Premature ejaculation is diagnosed if you routinely ejaculate within one minute of penetration no matter how hard you try to delay it. The lack of control that those with premature ejaculation is what makes it so frustrating, however, we’ve come up with some tips on how to last longer during sex.
How To Last Longer
Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles
Kegel exercises are popular in women who have just given birth, however, they are a great way to help you last longer in bed. When you do Kegels, you train your pubococcygeal muscles, otherwise known as your pelvic floor. If you struggle to find these muscles, try cutting off the flow of urine next time you go to the bathroom. After you cut it off, let it flow again. These are your pelvic floor muscles.
For when you’re not using the bathroom, you can identify these muscles by standing in front of a mirror and using your pelvic floor muscles to lift your testicles without the help of your hands. Once you have a feel for the muscles, you can tighten your muscles and hold for a count of 10, then release. Practice this in sets of 10.
Limit your thrusting
There are ways you can enjoy intercourse without thrusting to the extreme. For example, you can use the tip of your penis to focus on the nerve endings in your partner’s vaginal entrance rather than seeing how deep you can get. You can also try pressing your penis against her g-spot and concentrate on other activities whilst it’s there.
Alternatively, simply slowing down your thrusting is a great way to prolong your sexual experience without sacrificing pleasure.
Get creative
One way to last longer in bed is by avoiding penetration altogether. There are so many different sexual activities that you can enjoy together that will bring you both pleasure and prolong the length of your sexual experience. This could be an erotic massage, role-playing, or focusing solely on your partner through oral sex or toys. With only 18% of women having the capacity to orgasm through penetration alone, focusing on giving your partner the clitoral stimulation they need to orgasm before you engage in penetration can help you to give her the experience she needs. Adding sex toys to your relationship can be a great help for ensuring your partner is satisfied during sex.
Switch positions frequently
Instead of picking your favourite position and pounding away like a jackrabbit, try alternating between a few different positions. The small breaks in between switching positions might just be the ‘time off’ your penis needs to regroup and help you last longer. You can also experiment with different positions that require more physical stamina. This way you will be focused on technique and balance that you won’t be focussing on the stimulation as much.
Be mindful of positions
On the topic of positions, you want to skip any positions that provide too much stimulation. Yes, they might feel amazing, but the positions you can get super deep (hello, doggy style!) are usually the ones where you will reach climax the quickest.
Instead, try positions that only allow for shallower penetration, or that don’t allow much ‘in and out movement. While positions like doggy style are out of the window, shallow positions like the CAT (coital alignment technique) is ideal to stimulate the clitoris whilst providing low stimulation to the penis.
Try edging
Edging is a great technique for training on how to last longer in bed. You can practice this technique while masturbating or whilst during sex. To edge, you need to bring yourself to the brink of orgasm before stopping all activity until your excitement has lowered. Practising this technique can help you train your mind and body on how to last longer in bed.
Masturbate first
Masturbating alone before a sexual encounter is a free and simple technique to help combat premature ejaculation. Sometimes, the reason why men ejaculate too quickly is through all the riled up sexual frustration. When it’s been a while since you ejaculated, every sensation can be heightened making it easier for you to orgasm.
Therefore, if you masturbate close to when you know you’re going to have sex, you’re releasing all the riled up sexual energy meaning you will last longer the second time. However, it’s important to practice the appropriate timing between sessions as the last thing you want is to not be able to perform at all!
Wear the appropriate condom
Most large condom manufacturers now make extra-thick condoms which can desensitise your penis during sex. The lack of sensation is great for helping you last longer. Some condoms even come with numbing agents to help prolong the pleasure for both partners.
Medication
If nothing is helping with your premature ejaculation, you may need to try medication to help. Make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your many options when it comes to medication for premature ejaculation. Some have been proven to be very effective! However, it’s important to note that some medications can have side effects, so medication should always be a last resort.
Takeaway
Every man wants to know how to last longer in bed. And although it can be disheartening when you feel like you aren’t providing your partner with the pleasure they deserve, you should know you aren’t alone! There are many ways you can help prolong sex by engaging in longer foreplay sessions, using special condoms or training yourself through edging.
