What the Ick?! The Most Common "Icks" in Relationships & Dating

Ever found yourself suddenly repulsed by a small, seemingly insignificant detail in your date's behaviour? When it comes to dating and relationships, few things can derail a budding romance like an "ick", those subtle turn-offs that might seem trivial but can quickly be difficult to ignore.

Whether it's a hygiene habit, a peculiar laugh, or a lifestyle choice, recognising these icks in a relationship and what can change someone’s feelings quickly is key, especially when dating.

As everybody has some form of ick they’d rather avoid, here we'll look at some of the most common icks in relationships that often send potential partners running for the hills. Hopefully, this will not only help you avoid doing these icks yourself but also help you in finding healthier, more satisfying relationships. If not, you can always stay home and enjoy some self-pleasure time with our wonderful selection of sex toys instead.

#1 – Poor Hygiene

Nothing sends potential love interests fleeing faster than poor hygiene. It's often the first and most noticeable of the many “icks” in dating. From bad breath and body odour to unkempt hair and dirty nails, these are not just petty deal-breakers but basic aspects of self-care. They reflect your attitude towards personal health and respect for others, so having good hygiene is crucial in making a positive impression.

Taking the time to maintain cleanliness is not only about aesthetic appeal and attraction, but also shows a level of responsibility and self-respect that is crucial in any relationship.

#2 – Lack of Manners

Another big one that is noticeable quite quickly is someone’s manners. They are a sign of respect in any interaction, so their absence can be a significant turn-off. When someone is rude in public to staff or friends and family, interrupts conversations, or displays poor table manners, it suggests a lack of consideration for others. These behaviours can quickly tarnish one’s image and raise questions about their overall demeanour and previous relationships.

Being respectful in interactions not only eases social engagements but also lays a foundation for trust and respect in a relationship. Good manners are invisible yet impactful, making them an essential trait to have so that you can avoid your (potential) partner getting the ick in a relationship.

#3 – Dependency Issues

There is a delicate balance between dependence and independence, and this is crucial in avoiding icks in relationships. Dependency issues can manifest as either clinginess or excessive detachment, when a partner who is overly dependent may require constant reassurance and struggle to make personal decisions, which can be draining.

On the other hand, someone who insists on extreme independence might avoid sharing experiences or making joint decisions, leaving their partner feeling excluded and unimportant. Both extremes can create a feeling of imbalance and dissatisfaction in a relationship, so finding the perfect balance can help both partners feel valued and connected.

#4 – Poor Communication Skills

Having effective communication is an absolute must for any healthy relationship, and lacking it can be a major ick in a long-term relationship. Poor communication can take many forms, from the avoidance of important conversations to frequent misunderstandings. Things like ghosting, inconsistent texting, or simply failing to listen can leave a partner feeling disrespected and disconnected.

These habits signal a disregard for the emotional well-being of the other person and can lead to dwindling trust and intimacy. If you have good communication skills, you’ll already be doing things like actively listening to your partner, giving a clear expression of your needs, and being able to resolve any conflict and arguments without escalation. It is one of many common icks in a relationship that have to be overcome.

#5 – Dishonesty

You can’t have a good relationship without honesty. Being able to trust each other in a relationship is necessary, and being dishonest puts you on a fast track to losing it. Whether it's making up stories, hiding the truth, or deceiving about past relationships, these actions can deeply impact your partner and damage your relationship.

The impact of lies, even small ones, often lingers and leads to doubts about you or your partner’s sincerity in all aspects. Restoring trust once it's broken is very difficult, so transparency and honesty not only prevent getting the ick in a relationship but also help you to have a deeper connection, essential for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

#6 – Incompatible Humour

Humour compatibility is a less obvious but crucial element of relationship dynamics. When two people share a similar sense of humour, it can greatly enhance their connection, providing joy and resilience even in tough times. However, incompatible humour can definitely be an 'ick'. Jokes that one person finds hilarious might be offensive or bewildering to the other. This mismatch can lead to discomfort and a sense of disconnect.

Finding humour in the same situations is not only about sharing laughs but also about understanding and appreciating each other's viewpoints, which is vital for emotional intimacy and a long-lasting relationship.

#7 – Differing Values or Life Goals

Shared values and aligned life goals are crucial for long-term compatibility in a relationship. Significant differences in these areas can be a major 'ick' for many. For instance, having different opinions on having children, career priorities, or even financial management can easily and quickly create a rift whether dating or in a relationship.

When these key life goals clash, it can prevent a deep bond from forming, as each person may feel they must compromise too much of their identity or dreams. Overcoming these differences is only possible with open communication, otherwise, it can mean the relationship may not last long.

#8 – Social Media Habits

Unsurprisingly, how someone behaves online can also be a significant dating “ick”. Excessive posting, sharing too much personal information, or engaging in controversial debates publicly can turn potential partners off. It might indicate a need for constant attention or a lack of discretion which can be worrying in terms of privacy and boundaries in a relationship.

However, a lack of any social media presence could also be annoying for someone who values this as a way of keeping in touch with friends and family. Finding a balance in social media habits is key to avoiding misunderstandings and respecting each other's comfort levels.Top of Form

#9 – Mismatched Sexual Preferences

Sexual compatibility is crucial in a relationship, and mismatched preferences or desires can be a significant “ick” for many. This can range from differing libido levels to varying interests in sexual activities such as being into BDSM and Fetish play or wanting to explore using role-play costumes.

These types of issues can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction, two things that can make sex less enjoyable. This is where open, honest communication and a willingness to compromise or explore new possibilities together can help. You may even find that couple’s sex toys can help improve your intimate moments together, as long as both of you are happy with exploring this.

Is it Normal To Get The Ick in a Relationship?

Yes, experiencing the 'ick' in a relationship can be quite normal, so you don’t need to worry if one or more of the above are ringing any alarm bells. It can often signal deeper needs or expectations that aren't being met, and it’s good to talk about these things, especially if it bugs you.

Having perfectly compatible partners in every single way is few and far between, so as long as both of you are willing to work on the relationship and address any “icks”, as long as they’re reasonable requests, you can look forward to many happy years together.

For more insights like this, please visit our blog, where you can read all about the 6 best sex toys for solo play, and what your dating type says about you.